Abortion Options
Two days ago we celebrated my little, not so little guys 8th birthday. I don’t even know where time has gone…but here I am 28 years old with this beautiful family, beautiful home, and a life that would have been hard to imagine just short of a decade ago. I have been working on this post for a few weeks now and the publish button has been very difficult to hit. I have had this story that I have been wanting to share and having such an awesome 8 years of celebrating my handsome and smart son has really given me the push to do so. Okay, so this one is really personal! I am just eager to share my story with you all to hopefully help inspire other young women that may be going through what I was almost 9 years ago. Please be kind with your comments, and if you have a negative comment I’d prefer not to hear it. This was my personal choice and one that I felt driven by God to make and one that I feel I need to speak about. We all have our own dilemma’s, decisions, and we will all have to answer to God one day. I can only hope this can make your decision easier, or have an open mind as to what a young girl goes through when faced with a decision as keeping their baby or dealing with the scary word ABORTION.
Nine years ago this coming March was nothing short of a blur. It was another day spent in college and enjoying my time with my now husband on a dinner date to Fridays. We got back to his apartment, I was only 19 and Dan 22 and shocked by the idea that I may be taking a pregnancy test….but no doubt in my mind that it was just a normal late period. One pink line later…and my whole world had changed. My future ahead of me, seemed all so far away now. I had big plans for a career in Fashion in NYC and lots of traveling in my post College years.
Being raised a Christian and being an only child I knew that I would have to face a bigger fear then God at that moment….my Parents. I chose to wait it out a bit and process what was happening to my world. This was going to be my first big girl decision, besides deciding what college to attend and what sorority to pledge. I was now an adult and making a decision not just for me, but for the people surrounding me, and most importantly that new life. Immediately, Dan felt we were going to “take care of” the situation. All I could think of that night was, I needed to sleep and it would all be gone in the morning. I remember waking up the next morning and feeling like it all had been a dream. There’s no way that I was actually “pregnant”… not me. I had been raised in such a normal household and lived such a normal life. I always imagined a big wedding, and 2-3 children in my future…but it couldn’t happen like this. It was suppose to be a happy day when you find out your pregnant…calling the doctor and them congratulating you on the phone and interrupting them with silence wasn’t how I had planned it all. My plans were shattered…my life wasn’t my life anymore.
Later that morning I was alone in my room and just looking at myself in the mirror. I remember thinking to myself “I don’t feel pregnant”. Then without another thought I felt as if all the thoughts of contemplating an abortion were gone…God wanted me to keep this baby. I was not going to have the choice because to me there was no choice. This was my responsibility now…though I had not made the decision to have a baby, I was not going to be given a decision. That child had nothing to do with what I had chose or not chose to do…he/she was created to LIVE!
I remember thinking how could I go through the thought of swallowing some pill and just destroying this little life. God had a gender, name, face, and future for this little speck. It didn’t feel real yet, but it would be real. I couldn’t see myself just awaiting the minutes that it would take to remove it all. It was so much harder to deal with that idea, then to deal with all that was ahead of me. I chose LIFE!
Long story short, it was not an easy discussion with Dan. He argued and we argued about the decision to keep the baby. After all he was just about to graduate college and start his life to make money and make a career for himself. Starting life with a baby was wrong. It was going to be hard, and instead of working for one he now had to work for 3! At 22 without having this planned out…there was no chance that was going to be easy. He couldn’t understand the life that was made inside my body. He couldn’t understand my biblical reasoning and certainly just looked at me as his crazy girlfriend that was making an emotional decision instead of a logical one. I get it now looking back…but at that time in our life I couldn’t imagine why he was being so hard on me.
It came down to this, it was me and that baby and nothing else. God wanted this baby on earth and though it would be hard, it would be right. I would figure it out…to live a hard life to bring a child into this world that stands a chance meant everything. After all this was God’s little treasure!
Next, came the time to tell my parents…
Girls, for those that are getting ready to tell their parents for the first time…I promise you, they will come around. They will support you and they will be angry with you, but you most importantly have to make your decision first. I think that was the best thing I did. I waited it out a few days making sure that when I told my parents I would tell them that their daughter made the decision to keep this baby. They were angry, it was awful…but it only lasted for so long. They became supportive and helpful in my time of pregnancy, finishing college, and taking care of my young child.
Dan, came around emotionally and knew that he wanted me in his life and that he would do what he had to, to make things work. Once again, not how I planned or thought my life would be. I didn’t want to just make things work, I wanted to live happily ever after. I will never have that dream of starting life “normal”, but I kept God’s precious child and he would reward me for this.
Life got easier as we found out our baby was going to be a boy! We threw a shower as though I was just another mother expecting her first child. We painted our nursery, took our lamaze class, and waited for the day that we would hold our baby boy.
During this time, Dan had to go through another emotional adjustment in his life by losing his Dad. He was an important part to Dan’s peace with becoming a dad himself, and he was the reason for naming our baby boy Anthony. We then went through another 8 weeks apart as Dan still was finishing his military training and would be gone during most of my last trimester. I worked serving ice-cream, took some more college classes, and awaited for this next journey. I would be lying if I didn’t say it was a happy time. After the shock of it all, I promise, you will be just as excited as any mother is awaiting their first baby.
Anthony came into this world November 20, 2008 at 6:33 p.m., he was a beautiful baby boy at 8lbs and 21 inches. A young mom with no idea what was ahead of me, I took it on full force. 2 years no sleep, still working part time, and finishing my last 2 years in college. It was a busy time in our life. My friends were still at college living the life that all college kids lived, and I was just trying to stay a float.
Lots of tears, but lots of laughs, and a lot of time to build character. I think you need to go through hard times to come out strong. I’m grateful for our time to work hard for us. Dan struggled with trying to land a career since that was the year of the recession, and we also planned out our wedding those next 5 months.
If I said it was all easy, I would be lying. Still today it’s not always easy, but what a blessing of a life God made for us!
We chose to have another child 3 years later to give Anthony a sibling, and we bought a house 2 years after that. We still struggle financially, and strive to work hard everyday. I think the greatest thing is knowing that our child is going to move mountains one day. He was born for a reason and the Lord is going to bless his little life. Our family too is blessed to have what we have. I’ve watched so much how the Lord has planned it all out. Days when I think I don’t know what’s next, or life just seems so hard, I look back on 9 years and see how much God has blessed us with. He made such a beautiful life for us. We are such a close family! We love snuggles on the couch, and taking small moments to cherish, and enjoy every moment of family time! I think the hardest part for Dan and I these days are just seeing how fast it all is going. How do we already have an 8 year old and 4 year old? I’m not even 30 yet! Most women haven’t even found their soul mate yet at my age, and here I am living this beautiful life with my family of 4 + our dog!
I’m thankful to you Lord, you gave us so much, and so much out of our situation.
The lord brought my husband to know him and brought me closer to him. I know that my story will help me guide my children one day when they are going through times of trouble and times when the world feels like it’s dragging you in. I hope too that I could be a voice for women that are going through what I went through. I want women to know that they don’t need to make a choice. They don’t need to live a life in regret, and that praying over your baby the Lord will provide a life for that baby better then you would have thought in this small dark moment of your life. It seems like it’s the end of the world when faced with this decision at such a young age, but you are not a victim, and you most certainly are not alone.
I read an article recently in a magazine when getting my hair done, and it was an article about young women that had made a choice to have an abortion. The article praised women for having one, and they were the voice for women that had one and were going to have one. I felt this was all so wrong! I’m not blaming women for choosing to have one, I understand it’s not easy and it’s scary and making that decision seems to make it all go away. That is not always the case. There are so many women that make the decision to have an abortion out of being scared and alone that end up with regret and depression. You still have time for forgiveness and Jesus will give you the peace you are looking for. I chose life, because I’d rather live my life with sacrifice and love then with regret and nightmares. Too many women go through such a time of darkness for ridding their babies. You don’t have to be one! Prayer, hard work, and family are going to get you through it. Life won’t be what you planned it to be….but it will be much sweeter! Make the choice you feel in your heart and give your baby’s life a chance!
41 Responses
Thank you for writing this post. It’s wonderful to hear the “other side” of the story – from someone who made the decision to keep their baby and the joy that child has brought to their life. I’m proud of you. It took a lot of courage to do what you did. Thanks again for sharing. I pray this post will help someone struggling with a decision.
Thank you so much Pam! That is my true reason for writing this post. Hard one to publish, but I prayed over it that if it could touch one life that would all be worth it. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.
You are amazing girlfriend! That sweet little boy has the best mom a child could ask for. I truly believe the Lord will continue to bless you and your little family because you made the hard but honorable choice. Sending hugs and love your way 🙂
Amanda recently posted…The Creative Circle #92
Thank you Amanda! I have to say I held my breath this morning opening up my blog knowing that was published a few hours ago. I appreciate your words and so grateful for a friend like you. Pray that this post touches the right young women that are going through those darkest hours.
What an inspiring story. Although your decision was hard, it was obviously the right decision and I hope you are able to help a reader who may be going through the same thing. It may feel strange being only 28 with two kids but just think of all the time you will have with them! My mom was only 18 when I was born and I always loved being the kid with the “young mom”. We have been close my whole life and hopefully she will be in my life for many, many years. I didn’t get married until I was 31 and had both my kids in my late 30s. They are 10 and 12 now but I often think that when they are the age I am now, I will be so old!…(or maybe not even around!) I sometimes wish I had them earlier so they could have me in their lives as long as I will have my own mom. Things happen for a reason though and we do the best we can with our own situations. Thanks for being so open and sharing your story. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Shelley
Calypso in the Country recently posted…Los Angeles Trip – Day 3 and 4
Hi Shelly,
Thank you so much for being so sweet. Our lives all take a different path, wouldn’t change it for the world. Hope this does inspire others to feel life does go on and though moments of darkness feel like an eternity at the time…the sun will come out again. Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving as well!
xoxo
Thank you for this…while I’ve never had to make this kind of decision, I’m so happy that through it your husband came to know the Lord and now you two are raising your family in a Godly household.
Thanks Kim, it was quite the journey but our lives are truly blessed from it all!
What an inspiring story that will help so many people through a tough time, Deb! 🙂 Thanks for sharing it! You are very blessed and your children are beautiful!
Thank you April, that means so much!
What an inspiring story! You are very courageous. Your little boy is lucky to have you! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much Katie! : )
You did an amazing job sharing your story. I’m a bit older than you, and I will say the longer you live, you will realize that life pretty much a rollercoaster… lots of ups and downs. Whenever things seem bleak, just remember that the good times are just around the corner. And don’t for a minute think that everyone else has it all together, just because their lives seem to go as planned. We’re all struggling and trying to better ourselves.
Thank you so much Michelle, for your words of encouragement and your wisdom. I genuinely appreciate it!
Thank you so much for writing this post! These days it feels like writing something like this is a major risk.
I also became pregnant from a young age (20), and was not at all happy about it. Even though it put my university education on hold and completely changed my life plans, I can’t imagine life now without my son. Children truly are a blessing from the Lord!
Hi Sara, Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. This just confirms that posting this was well worth it.
What a great story and decision!
Thank you Lisa.
Just stopping by to tell you I’m proud to know you, Deb. You made an excellent decision to save your son’s life and another one in writing this article.
Thank you so much Allen! You have no idea how much that means to me.
Deb, thank you for sharing your most precious story with us. I know it must have been very hard for you to write this. I commend you for your honesty and for daring to defend the other side. It seems that today we are encouraged by the media and who knows who else to rip our bodies into pieces. I have four children myself. Bless you and your sweet family! And again thank you for sharing, you are a role model for all those young women who are doubting themselves.
Mary-the boondocks blog recently posted…12 Colorful Ways to Help you Prepare for Thanksgiving
Thank you Mary! That’s truly why I wrote this post, I want to be just another voice for those unspoken babies and for women that know there is a wonderful outcome in choosing life.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us!
This was beautiful and real. Bravo for having the courage to share. xoxo
Beautiful story Deb and reminds me so much of my own. You have a beautiful family and I am happy for the 4 of you.
Hi Olga! Yes, sometimes things happen unexpectedly but what a blessing life turns out to be! love seeing photos of your sweet sophia she is such a gorgeous little girl.
Deb, thanks for being so brave to honestly share this. I have similar story to tell… someday… although it was set in a different time, decades prior to yours. I keep praying to be ready when God calls me to share it too. Blessings to you and your wonderful family.
Thank you Liz! I look forward to hearing your story one day Liz. God lets us know when to do his calling.
Deb, thanks for having the courage to make that important decision 9+ years ago and for now having the courage to share your story. You are a blessing to so many!
Wow! Deb, thanks for having the courage to make that important decision 9+ years ago and for now having the courage to share your story. You are a blessing to so many by what you share here.
Carrie at Kenarry: Ideas for the Home recently posted…Easy DIY Christmas Art: Free Printable
Thank you so much Carrie! : )
What a beautiful & brave story, Deb! Thank you for having the heart, courage and concern for other young girls out there to share. Happy birthday to your sweet Anthony! xo
Thank you so much Rachael, that means so much!
I know it took a lot of courage for you to open up about your unplanned pregnancy. I also had a surprise baby and it was life changing as you know all to well.When I got pregnant it was in 1977 and way more unacceptable. I also grew up going to church and was very hurt by one of my teachers there who said I shouldn’t be coming. That still hurts me today. But I had my little girl and never looked back. It is hard to do but so worth it.
Thank you Gail, I am so happy to hear your story. God Bless!
I became pregnant at 18 and my husband was 19. Abortion was never something I would have considered for myself. My husband knew I was keeping our baby no matter what. I couldn’t live with the regret. We have now been married almost 25 years. And yes it has been hard in many ways but definitely worth all of the effort! We now have 2 sons, 19 and 24 and are so proud of the men they are becoming.
That’s so wonderful Carol, thank you for sharing your story!
Beautiful and inspiring, Deb! Because of your story, I pray other young women will be moved to keep their babies. God has a plan for each little life. Your son is a beautiful testimony to your love and God’s care over his own. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Amy! You are too sweet, I appreciate your comment.
Deb, I cannot even begin to describe how encouraging this post was for me to read! It felt like I was reading my own story in yours. I just found out a few weeks ago that I was pregnant. I am 24 and not married to the father-to-be. I have been a Christian all my life and even served on staff at a church for years. In the same month that I lost my virginity, I found out that I was pregnant. This was also the same month I got admitted into a program to purse my dreams in natural disaster relief and planned my move across the country. Seriously, it felt like my whole world was crashing down. Nathaniel and I originally decided to abort the baby, and made an appointment (I should be having the abortion today). The days following this decision were some of the darkest in my life. I felt like my spirit had torn in two. God spoke in mighty ways to Nathaniel and me, and we knew at that time that we had to keep this baby. I was horrified about what everyone was going to think and how in the world we would make it work. But, we are moving forward in this. As I mentioned before, we are only a week and a half into finding out about this. I still have to talk to my family and church. I am still scared, but I am even more confident that the Lord will be my strength and give me the words to say and actions to do. I am blessed to have Nathaniel as he is a man of God and incredibly supportive of everything. Still, it feels like all my plans and dreams of the future have changed drastically. It’s so much to adjust to! Anyways, I want to be like you and encourage women with the reality of my story. It is humbling to be a vessel for God’s work and I believe this child is going to be such an amazing person.
Hi Joanna, Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I am just so grateful that God has opened this door for me to connect to other women like you. Praying for you! I know that the Lord will guide you through this unexpected journey and give you so much JOY! I also sent you an email, so I hope you got that! Hugs xoxo